Belief Makers

As I read the comment thread on More than You Know, I was inspired by Benevolent Warrior's (BW) commentary on fear.

If one 'chooses to believe it [fear] beneficial,' to embrace fearfulness, or even insist on its necessity, to the extent of not even being open to examining its ramifications, and the belief structures put in place by one to sanction or to idolize choosing fear, vs self trusting, isn't that a curious self-blinding?

I'm presently closely involved with family members, and histories of the adverse ramifications of choosing fear to the extent of being an interference of the bodies built in harmonic functioning of health. Isn't this where all 'dis-ease' is created? within fearfulness, not being at peace, OK? Isn't Stress simply another word for fear? Doesn't the harmonics of healthy functioning become distracted by fear?

As I read the above commentary, I found myself agreeing with BW. Certainly fear never seems to live in isolation. Fear can have tremendous, undesired consequences: failing relationships, declining health, angst, anger, hate, war... you name it. Certainly many of us have spent a lot of time overcoming fear and working towards fearlessness. Yet, as I considered BW's words, something felt a bit off or missing in his analysis.

I then realized that fear is just one of the ways that we manifest unhappiness; perhaps the root cause of these effects (stress, disease, war, etc) is not fear, but unhappiness.

Physiology of Fear
Fear is actually an amazingly useful phenomenon that evolved to protect us from bodily harm. It's likely that we humans would not be here today were it not for fear.

When we become fearful, chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol are released into our bloodstream and hard-wired neural sequences fire in rapid succession. All this results in our bodies undergoing dramatic and rapid change.

Our rate of breathing increases filling our blood with oxygen. Blood is directed away from our digestive tract and into our muscles and limbs to provide the additional energy required to either fight or run away. Our pupils dilate, enhancing our vision. We lose all distraction as our awareness becomes intense and hyper focused. Our reactions and impulses quicken. Our perception of pain diminishes and our immune system mobilizes ready to address any potential invasion.

If you're in a situation where the best solution is to either fight or run away, given the physiology of fear, all things being equal, I'd say that the bear is going catch and eat the calm, meditative guy, not the fearful guy.

Happy Fear
Since fear has got this bad rap, we sometimes use other words to describe it. One of the phrases that we use to describe fear is: a rush. When we watch a scary movie or an intense action sequence, when we ride a roller coaster, when we participate in extreme sports, we cause all that fear physiology to kick in. It's exhilarating. It's exciting. We feel focused and alive. It's a rush.

Some of us can become almost addicted to the physiology of fear. Why? Because it feels really good.

There are plenty of examples where each of us experiences fear happily.

Unhappy Fear
So then, the question is not one of being fearful or not being fearful. The question is one how we experience the fear: happily or unhappily.

When we're unhappy about that which we fear or the experience of fear itself, we start to fight our fear. Muscles that are primed and ready to fight or fly, become tense and rigid. A mind that is hyper-focused on the present situation becomes distracted with thoughts of the past or the future. Our situation becomes that of an automobile stuck in neutral with the gas pedal to the floor. We burn through resources without actually getting anywhere. The engine overheats and eventually seizes.

So What?
So, if you're thinking this article is about 'fear', it's not. It's about what happens when we make a priori decisions about the usefulness and effect of various phenomena. When we decide that things like fear or anger or ADD are not useful (often a euphemism for 'bad'), we miss out on all that we might learn or benefit from them.

In a world where there's so much to learn and so much to manage through each day, it's really easy to categorize various experiences, feelings, activities so that we don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about them. Indeed, doing so makes our lives operate more efficiently. However, the efficiency isn't free.

Happy Saturday!
Teflon

Labels: fear, mark tuomenoksa, philosophy

Yeah, so what to do when comfort isn't 'working'? I remember Samahria saying something like: nothing is worth mortgaging your comfort for. It is so tempting for me to get myself uncomfortable as I write this damm blog! Hmmm....yes, I AM a tad UNCOMFORTABLE...and yet as I write that, I laugh, the discomfort vanishes....interesting!

Now, (a few moments later), I'm aware I'm struggling again. I'm not finding it easy to grab hold of any specific idea or topic long enough to write about it. All day yesterday I intended to write my blog entry with ease, in a relaxed way. I could think of no clear ideas. That was fine with me. I did other things, I went for a walk, cooked, and felt relaxed. It got late. I started racing my thoughts and still am doing so now in the morning. It feels like this racing type of thinking is happening to me but I know that is not true because when I choose to focus on my body and breath I have no racing thoughts.

I ask myself: why am I racing my thoughts? I get myself more uncomfortable with this question...yep, I've jumped onto a spiral of discomfort, obsessively questioning my everything....why would I do that? Why do I make it hard for myself? Why can't I think of a topic? Why do I believe I can't think of a topic? Why don't I want to think of a topic?

I think this is officially called tormentoring!

I've been a tension addict for many years. The past year and a half I have become aware of this. I hold a lot of tension in my body, particularly when doing "heady" type of tasks such as writing or entering data into a computer.

Holding my muscles tight is a physical way I pressure myself to literally 'squish' out my ideas. This is one way tension has been useful to me. I wonder is there any 'truth' to this...does tension physically help me express myself? It really seems that sometimes I can not express my ideas clearly without doing tension somewhere along the way. It seems equivalent to a person who can not see well putting on glasses and being able to see better.

I don't always have to 'squish' my ideas out but right now and lately I haven't felt like writing. I made a commitment to do so and I value honoring this commitment. So, I am making the best of it by exploring what is coming up for me as I write even though I don't feel like it. It's a challenge I'm making worthwhile by learning from it as I write.

My struggle and tension as I write are coming from fear of stepping out of my usual ways. The structure I feel most comfortable with when I write is to think of a topic and then develop a sense of the beginning, middle and end before I start. In this case, I'm not doing it that way. I don't know what this will end up like. I'm currently also realizing a deeper fear coming up about being real and sharing myself in the moment AS I unfold. My usual theme is to share my issue afterward, once I have it all figured out. It seems more safe that way.

I actually wanted to write about this (how much I struggle sometimes to get my thoughts out) the first time I wrote on this blog but I couldn't get the words out the way I wanted to. I wasn't ready t share it. I'm excited that I'm ready now! I don't have to wait until I'm finished struggling, until I have a beginning, middle and ending!

I see how just the opposite can be really helpful. I felt so personally touched reading the most recent blogs of Kathy, Paul, and Iris, and those of Mark when they write real, raw and in the moment of their struggles and joys. This is so revealing. I feel I know them so much more and it feels more safe to open myself more too. This is RELATING at its DEEPEST! I remember living with Rita and having some of the most amazing WOW moments of my life when we would (what felt like to me) stop time by getting real, going into the moment; sharing the tiny details of specific thoughts and different perspectives on the exact same events.

"Tension is who you think you should be; relaxation is who you are"
~ Chinese Proverb

My INTENTION regarding tension (and fear) is to be and express myself, as I AM. After reading this blog over, it doesn't seem scary or even revealing...but it was a BIG deal while I was writing it and I was quite tense nearly the whole time. INTERESTING!!! Thank you!

Labels: awareness, fear, tension