Belief Makers

Jaedon  went to the doctor today!  I was (mostly) happy and comfortable for the entire visit!!  Let me give you some background so you can know how huge this is.

Jay is hypersentive to light and sound.  He has NEVER tolerated doctor's intruments being used anywhere near his body, especially the ones with lights.   This phenomenon did not mysteriously start with his autism diagnosis at 30 months.  This started at birth.  So, at 5 months old when he somehow scraped his eye ball with a finger nail, The pediatrician didn't have the privilege of actually seeing the scrape because he would not allow anyone to hold his eye lids apart to look inside his eye.  Honestly, 2 adults working together couldn't get a 5 month old baby's eye lids to co-operate.  The power of the human spirit with a strong intention!

• Jaedon spent about 10 minutes examining the doctor's instruments!  He looked at the light, turned it every which way, flicked it rapidly from side to side, put it in his ear, I pretended to look in the ear and congratulated him for letting me.
• The doctor let him do all this!!!  She didn't even blink when he whisked the gadget down and began his thorough examination.  I have to admit that in that moment, I was tempted with discomfort (How much do these things cost?).  Her calm helped remind me how useful it is to stay calm, though watchful, in moments like these.  I love this woman!

1. Examine a situation for unnecessary stressors and change them
2. The power of a clear intention is ... powerful
3. Unpleasant doctor's visits today don't mean unpleasant doctor's visits tomorrow.  I can throw out the belief that all doctors visits will be horrible.  Not only am I growing and changing, but so is Jay!

Labels: autism, faith clarke, intention

Happy New Year! Ahhh... the first day an exceptional year. I can feel it, this year will be extra especially great. I bet you can feel it too, right?



I imagine that being in silence and meditation for 10 days will be a life-changing, inward journey. I intend to gain clarity, depth and sensitivity in perception and to nurture my perspective and priorities of well-being, peace, calm and ease no matter what is going on around me.

Labels: happy new year, intention, jeannene christie, meditation, silence

Do you believe we can be in control of everything? Do you want to be in control of everything? What does it mean to be in control? Why would you want to be in control? What if you are always in control? What if you're never in control?

This morning I got a lovely little note from Mark Oakley, a journalist from Denmark. He told me in a couple of words that he would love to become one of the authors of this blog and that he was looking forward to my reply.

How Should I Respond?
Now, you have to know, I've never met or spoken with this man. I don't know who he is, what he stands for, what he plans to write about, or why he would like to write particularly on this blog. So, I wrote him back the following:

Welcome to the New Option Blog! I am so excited that you want to share in our endeavor to inspire people.

I am traveling right now, but I will contact you later today or tomorrow with the schedule as far as it is filled right now, so that we can start fitting you in. How often would you like to write articles and when would you like to start?

I have to run now, but I will be in touch again soon.

Have a great day!

Since sending that email, I have been enjoying the feeling of curiosity and excitement about having a new blog author on our team. I believe we will have great wonderful submissions from Mark and I am looking forward to seeing the world through his belief filters, and seeing how his world will look the same as mine and different from mine. I am thrilled about all the new possibilities that will come from him joining this growing team of Option philosophy enthusiasts.

Not for Everyone
While enjoying this moment, I realized that not everyone would respond the way I did in this situation. In some ways, what I'm doing is out of control. Shouldn't I figure out beforehand that things are going to work out, that the person invited is going to give me the results I expect, that nothing "bad" is going to happen? (Yes, I meant to use the word "bad".)

The first and biggest learning I ever had during my time at the Option Institute was when I came to volunteer in 2003. I learned that making a decision right now doesn't necessarily imply anything about what is going to happen in the future, that a decision in the now can always be overwritten by other decisions in the future. Decisions are not big problems, they are just small choices. I also realized that the intent of where I want to go has everything to do with where things will end up in the future.

So, What's My Intention
My intent for the A New Option Blog is to provide a place where people can be inspired to find their own answers and question the things they want to question, and to create a community founded on authenticity, love, personal growth, and excitement for life. I believe that having this intent and living this intent every day creates an environment that attracts the people who want to join this endeavor.

This intent does not say anything about how big the A New Option Blog will become, how successful it will be (what does that mean anyway), or what we will be doing and writing about next year. But I do know that this will be a meeting place for wonderful people who are willing to share themselves and their ideas, to inspire others to develop themselves into the most wonderful people they can imagine.

So, I want to leave you with this thought: What if most wonderful new opportunities are created by sharing your intentions with others and then riding the wave of choices and decisions that follow rather than adhering tightly to your plans and walking the one path you designed beforehand?

Labels: all blogs, intention, iris tuomenoksa, philosophy

Joining a Son-Rise Program® has been a great inspiration for me. Not only is it fun to be in the playroom. I also get inspired to do more fun stuff outside the playroom. I get inspired to find ways to inspire Christo's mom. And I get inspired to change my life.

Inspiration in the playroom
When I am in the playroom we mostly play games inspired by Disney. We started with Tigger, which happens to be Christo's and my favorite Pooh character. We will bounce around and quote Tigger. Just try to perfect your "youuuhuuuhuuuhuuuhu". Can you do that without smiling? Do you recognize the amazing feeling when you get Tigger under your skin? You can feel the energy and happiness bounching around while being Tigger. It is so different from playing Eeyore (which is fun too, just different).

Sometimes we pick characters from "Jungle Book". I love Balou. Being Balou gives me a chance to move my but! I would like to be a monkey, but I still can't sing all the words from "I wanna be a Mankind" (I haven't made it my highest priority yet!). Than there are the dogs. They are everywhere: it can be 101 Dalmantines, Blutz, you name it. There are so many great Disney dogs, and I'm a dog person..

I would recommend to anyone to personify a disney character. It's fun and you can make it a good workout too. Pick one of your favorite disney characters and start playing! And by the way: when was the last time you were standing close to someone making funny faces? or scary faces?

Preparing for the playroom
We've been playing monsters, dogs and George of the jungle. I didn't even know George of the jungle. So recently I 've spent time on youtube. Laughing a lot watching clips from this crazy movie.

I've bought some new dvd's and borrowed some from friends with kids. Because how could I know that "Get out of here" was just a quote from Beauty and the Beast"? And I for sure didn't know that there were lines from StarWars in KungFu Panda!

Lately I have been smiling, singing new songs and making more jokes and people around me have been laughing with me!

Inspiring someone else
When I did Group Facilitator training I found it challenging to find the energy and enthusiasm within me. But when I am sitting at the kitchen table exchanging ideas for the playroom with the mom, I am excited. I love telling her how good she is, how fantastic it is that she can see what to do next and that she keeps moving.

I want her to get more help and training, so I keep feeding her with suggestions, and step by step is she moving on it. It's fantastic. I see that I can inspire, and can be patient, all at the same time. It feels so good.

I used this inspiration to challenge people at my work, people who seemed to be waiting for inspiration. When they resisted taking responsibility for their lack of inspiration, I would ask them: how is it working for you to wait for a small ant to bite you, to get under their skin and fill you up with inspiration. As we laughed I knew that they knew that inspiration was there for them to choose.

Let the world be my playroom
I want to take as much as I can from the playroom and build my world from this.

I know that Brian and Mary have a webpage on how to create relationships. My suggestion will be: build a playroom for you and your partner. Build this place with love and acceptance, and a lot of space for exploration.

If anyone want to join my playroom, let me know. It might include pillow fighting and greek dancing, but it will be fun.

My playroom, my rules.

Joy

Labels: inspiration, intention, joy vigh strand, love, relationships, son-rise

As I relate different events in my head, they evolve into some kind of mutually dependent event sequence So a is related to b which is related to c. I translate this to first a, then b, then c. In the end, it results in a situation where I can't even think of going for c before I have gotten to a and b.

Walking Before We Run
Most of us know that it might me easier to learn to run if you know how to walk, it might be easier to learn to play basketball if you know how to throw and to catch a ball.

If I want to run a marathon, it makes sense to decide to first run a 5k, then a 10k, and a then half marathon.

Does it make sense to decide to buy new shoes before I start running? Or, will the running inspire me to get the shoes?

A friend of mine just moved to a French speaking country and he argued that he will first learn the language and then apply for a job. I thought that getting a job would make it much easier to learn the language.

If you were to move to France would you:

1. a) learn the language and then, b) move to the country, or

2. a) move to the country and then, b) learn the language

The reason for approach 1 could be that knowing the language would make it easier to integrate in the country, it might be easier to get a job and get friends.

The reason for approach 2 could be that living in the country and having people around you who spoke the language could make it easier to learn the language.

Sometimes you have to make choices, and take approach 1 and other times, approach 2.

In My Life
An example is my life: I want to have a better health, an interesting, well paid job, and a fantastic life partner. So let's call them a, b and c...

a) great health
b) an interesting, well-paid job
c) a life partner

Remember, now that I've associated these, I've also decided that they occur in sequence. First a) great health, then b) interesting, well-paid job, and then c) a life partner.

In order to get a great health, I decided that I need to change my eating habits, work out and meditate; this will result in more energy and happiness (that's a belief, but let's not question it for now).

To get "the" job, I need to network, look in to the job market, send resumes and go to interviews. I have a belief that my chances of getting the job I want are greater if I am energized, so I decided that a) great health must precede b) job.

BUT, I could also make up that long hours in front of a computer doing analysis lead to a higher consumption of coffee resulting in lower motivation for work outs and meditations. When I feel excited, I often naturally feel an urge to eat fruits and vegetables (which I see as healthy); I feel like running, dancing, swimming and I often meditate on love and happiness.

So in my mind I have built the relationship first a then b; it could as well have been the other way.

What About C
When I think about how it would be to be to in a relationship with a life partner, my first thought is happiness. I see myself being "the best version of me", and I see both of us developing the best version of ourselves. We'd grow it stronger day by day.

I have created this belief that, when I live a healthy life and when I am enthusiastic and happy about my work (which I could chose to be in the job I have, but I do not always do that as a way to motivate me to change -- one day), THEN I will be more likely to attract the kind of man I want to share my life with. In other words: when a AND b THEN c comes easier.

BUT: if I found a perfect partner, I might be inspired to create better health and/or explore better work-life possibilities. I would have someone to help me, inspire me, give me feedback. This would make it easier to go for and get what I really, really wanted.

I could even argue that getting c AFTER a and b will mean losing a and b. What if I meet someone who lives in another country? Holding onto b would be asking him to move rather than me being flexible? What if I meet someone who lives with incompatible habits when it comes to health? Would I want to give up my newly developed habits?

Maybe it would be better for me to change or even drop the required order I've created.

The Terrible Truth

Well here comes the (terrible) truth:

I don't dare to change the order of events; the sequence is not set by the reasons I just gave you. Those are just reasons I keep telling myself in order to stick to the decision I already made. The real reason for my ordering is... you wanna hear it? Get ready... here it comes... It's FEAR!

It's the fear of wanting something and not being able to get it. (Why did I take the Fearless program only once? I even came in as the second most fearless person in the program; I must have been either hiding my fears or among VERY fearful people!!!).

My ordering is determined by where I feel the most in control. The health issue is pretty much in my own hands since I eat and I move etc., whereas b and c depend on other people.

What Are Your Prerequisites?
I hope that this will inspire you to look at how you establish dependencies, order events, and so on. See if you make up reasons that sound reasonable, but don't really reflect the underlying reason for your decision.

I have decided that I want to change my way of thinking fundamentally, but that is a totally new subject... which is not dependent of this.

Love
Joy

Labels: all blogs, beliefs, intention, joy vigh strand

So hear is what I learnt.

1. Decide on a clear intention for my day
2. Create a positive intention of something I'm going to do, vs an intention about something I'm going to stop doing (so an intention of 'not complaining' would not have been as useful for me as 'savoring' or 'gratitude')
3. Having a clear intention before I am in the situation in which I want to act out my intention greatly increases my chances of living out that intention.
4. Pre-playing (visualising) myself acting in my clear positive intention in the face of some typically challenging situations can be very helpful.
5. Celebrate the times that I act in my clear positive intention, vs judging, reprimanding and scolding myself for the times I don't

So I'm going to be more intentional about having a daily, clear intention. I think my intention for tomorrow will be 'relaxing'. What will yours be?

Labels: faith clarke, intention