Belief Makers

As a child facilitator being present is a very important aspect of my work, and of the every day fun I have!

Being present helps me to focus on my little friend. I can play with one hundred percent of my attention and notice his or her cues, which helps me to help him/her the best way I can. Being present also allows me to fully enjoy our time together.

This hasn't always been this way. I used to be an expert worrier and I used to spend at least 80 percent of my days thinking about different things. For example I would be thinking about my to do list or I would be occupied with beating myself up for things I did in the past. Or I would be feeling sad about everything that was happening to me (my lovely victimhood).

I used to have conversations with people and have my thoughts somewhere else or read a book and then realize after some pages that I had no idea what I read.

Why do we time travel?

Labels: all blogs, barbara balla, present

I've been thinking about breaking my internal watch. So many things are driven by time! I think time is a great construct, but can I just have it there as a structure, like the walls in my house, and not think about it all the time? The more I think about time, the less present I am. When I have lots to do, it's hard for me to settle down to allow the time required for 'slow' tasks, like being in the playroom or reading to my kids.

Don't get me wrong! I'm much better than I was. I just want to continue being aware that time is just a concept, a way of framing what we do, not something that controls me, and that I'm in control.

It comes back to being fully in every moment. The funny thing is that when I plan my time well, I can actually forget about time. For me, something as simple as blocking time for an activity frees me incredibly to enjoy the moments and be fully there.

A great example of this was one day last week. I cleared some time to read a Zachary story, a Simonne story, and then do some Math. I knew I had until 3pm to do those three things.

Once the time was cleared, I broke the watch! I decided not to watch time, to really relax and enjoy the interactions. This was not about checking something off my list.

We started by reading Saturn For My Birthday, and didn't go any further! We got sucked into an entire unit study on Saturn, why the planet would float, the relative size to earth, the moons, the solar system in general. We then looked at every other planet, the length of its days, its years, and so on.

I unearthed several books on the topic and we had a field day. Actually, a field ten-days. I was able to expose my inner artist (I did the sun and the background of the picture you're seeing below) and the children thoroughly enjoyed drawing and painting the planets and moons. Zachary wants to make a solar system mobile, so our Saturn inspired activities may continue for some time.

This is what happens when I create space for something,then allow the thing to completely saturate the space: delectable!

Yet, there is something about stopping to plan my time, the steady call of all the activities demanding my attention, that keeps me from planning. I have told myself that 'planning' is less important than 'doing'. (Hmmm... assessment or judgment?)

So, I've decided, if doing is important, then maybe planning is important too. Here's how I plan to help myself (I've decided to make this one of my challenges as I work with me in my own playroom). I will be challenging myself to see planning my time as a wonderful and enjoyable activity that gives me more time for what I want to do.

To do this:

1. I will enthusiastically and thoroughly celebrate all my attempts to plan
   
2. I will invite others to share planning time with me, because I enjoy people around me working on a similar project
   
3. I will actively recognize that there is no one to reprimand me for not planning, but me!
   

So don't be surprised if you hear me saying:

"Guess what I did today? I sat for ten full minutes and thought about what we would do in our home school tomorrow! It was wonderful!!"

If you really love doing and don't love planning, then maybe it's time to view planning as a wonderful way to help your doing! By planning our time, we can completely forget about time. By paying attention to time, we can ignore it. What a luxury!

Have great fun planning your time and then forgetting about it!

Labels: faith clarke, homeschool, planning, present, solar system

Today, while driving home from gymnastics with the kids, I decided to avoid the highway.  This was just a hunch, a feeling.  I just remembered entering the highway on many occasions, staring at the traffic, and wishing that I knew another way home.

Learning can look less efficient
As I drove by the entrance to the highway, I didn't know what to do next.  I did have a GPS, but as you know, the GPS will try to get me back on the most logical path, in this case, the highway.  I had to ignore the GPS, follow my nose, take a turn here and there that the GPS suggested, until I saw a road that looked familiar.  "I know where this is!"  I thought.  This was North Ave, but much farther up than I had ever driven before.  Just to solidify the connections that were forming in my mind, I continued to ignore the GPS, drove along North Ave until I saw the familiar spots, then drove confidently all the way home.  An 18 minute journey became 35 minutes.  I learnt something new.

I'm learning to knit.  I get to learn so many things alongside our children in our homeschool.  Knitting is just one.  I decided to knit Zachary a scarf as my first knitting project.  At the rate I'm going, I may never knit again.  It is sooo slow!  I would have been much further along with the scarf if I had decided to crochet it, something I have been able to do since the age of nine.  Currently, with knitting, I'm clumsily going along, almost stabing myself with the needles, asking my eight year old daughter to help me, to show me a stitch, etc.  I am transitioning from conscious incompetence to conscious competence.  She thinks I'll be done with the scarf in February.  She might be right....

I'm realizing that I love to learn.  Once I've decided to be curious, I thoroughly enjoy the process of grappling with something, figuring it out and increasing my level of competence.  This is especially true if I think I'm going to have to explain the process to anyone else.  Sometimes that somebody else is ME.  I can't tell you how many times I have been able to apply learning in one area to another challenging situation.  My belief that I'm learning something that is possibly useful in the future helps protect me from labeling my experiences as inefficient and tedious.

But that's fine for when I'm not in a hurry!
Today was an easy example.  I was in no particular rush to get home.  I had the luxury of exploring.  It's somewhat more difficult for me when I'm focussed on a particular destination, trying to get there in the most efficient manner possible.  Then, the various occurances that look like obstacles aren't so intriguing.  I'm not the least curious about the possibilities in these new experiences.  So often, my focus on a particular outcome, and a particular procedure for achieving that outcome, shuts me down from the endless learning opportunities and applications in the present moment.

My mantra for this past year has been to 'slow down'.  That helps me to quickly get into a 'present' frame of mind.  When I'm present, I'm open to the posibility that there may be other procedures that will get to my desired outcome, and other outcomes that I may find desirable.  Whether I am being focussed and efficient, or meandering around smelling the flowers, I can be mindful of the generosity of the universe and the infinite possibilities present in any moment.

P.S. Speaking of being present, it's still not too late to get your holiday presents (a bad pun, I know) and support my fundraiser to help a family affected by autism.  Go to http://www.fclarke.ordermygift.com/ or contact me (faithclarke@gmail.com).  I can create an e-gift, which is a redeemable link to an item, or set of items that your recepient would choose from. No worries about shipping it on time.

Labels: competence, faith clarke, learning, present